If you have gotten to this stage with your girlfriend, it means you are too far gone to ever be happy again. Quality, efficient buttsex comes around about as often as the Aurora Borealis or a black Mormon.
It's taboo it's still kind of like standard heterosexual fucking since it's also about putting something inside a hole and most importantly, the difficulty level is high. Assplay is a logical next step in a male/female sexual relationship. On more than one occasion, a woman has asked me if I wanted to do "butt stuff" when it became clear that coitus wasn't cutting it anymore. Anal sex is the first stop on the Save My Relationship World Tour. The easiest way to go about joining the 11 percent (which is far more vital to the national discourse than the 99 percent or the 47 percent) is through the back door.
The goal of every human reading this article should be to get in that 11% of the globe that either finds a soulmate or fucks a neverending series of holes with verve and vigor. 7% of the population has casual, freaky fetish sex with multiple partners until they die of being too happy 40% of the population has boring, meaningless sex until they die 25% of the population masturbates more than three times a day 21% of the population commits suicide after one too many viewings of the Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan comedy You've Got Mail 4% of the population falls in love and remains in love the rest of their lives For those of you out there who want to tell me how love can sustain itself over decades, allow me to offer you the following completely non-scientific statistical breakdown: